A happy surrogacy email beginning

There is nothing better than getting an email with some great news, and that was exactly what happened Saturday morning. Anjani from Kiran Infertility Centre just told us that the HCG injection was going to be given today!  I am so anxious to know how many eggs will be retrieved and the condition. What a wonderful woman who is donating her eggs to us. You just want to hug her, hold her hand and thank her all at once. William was very excited and remembered when I had my HCG injection and how nervous we were when it happened. 

We were also told that egg retrieval will be on Monday! That’s today!  He is also going to let us know the number and quality of embryos. So, if all goes well, by the end of the week we will have our embryo transferred to our surrogate.

All I have been doing for the last 48 hours is just thinking about it… Moving forward but still having a lot of hurdles to pass and knowing we should stay calm.  We also had to make the decision of how many embryos to transfer. We did have this discussion with Dr. Samit when we were in Hyderabad, and I must say he was very good at discussing all aspects and various choices we could make in regards to this decision.

William and I discussed it again this Sunday; we took a walk in the first rays of spring, at least it felt that way, considering it has been freezing here for the past two weeks.  We decided that what we discussed with Dr. Samit was still our choice today.

I will definitely keep you posted on the progress this week.

Family thoughts on Monday Morn.

Thank you all for your excellent comments. I really enjoyed the feedback and it is so nice to know that you’re not the only one out there.

I really like http://bollywoodbabydreams.blogspot.com blog by Arya and Paul. They are doing surrogacy in Mumbai and are at the 11 week mark and counting.

JVC, I can’t wait until we all get our phone calls!

Tom, you are so right, it is not a boring time waiting for that phone call, I’m very excited!

I am actually staying calm which is quite amazing for me. However William has become all anxious this weekend.  I think the reason why, was that he just visited his brother who has two children which we both don’t see often enough.

He was so pleased to see him and more importantly interact with his nephew and niece. One of the things he noticed was how much of life the children bring to you.  He was really impressed with the way they engage with you and how it riches your life. I think he saw his brother’s life as this real nice family unit with this wonderful connection that is unique when enriched with children. I think it’s something in a strange way he never really thought of before. “The idea of family and what it means.”

It’s a nice reinforcement of why we are all doing Surrogacy.  Let’s face it; it’s not easy emotionally or financially. But boy is it worth it.

Tick Tock…Starting the Surrogacy time watch

So here I go with the “surrogacy time watch…step one”. Anjani just emailed me to let me know that our donor has started stimulation today and will let me know as soon as the egg retrieval is going to happen. I can’t wait!

 Anyone who has ever gone through IVF, knows what is happening now to their donor. Days full  of injections with stimulating drugs, blood tests, ultrasound scans, and then the “trigger shot”. I am wishing her well and hope she feels okay through the process.

Side note:

Also Surrogacy hits TV… check out Modern Family next episode

Surrogacy in the News

Monday morning…thought I would tool around the internet and see what the paper’s had to say about surrogacy these days.. I thought these were interesting:

·         http://www.deccanchronicle.com/channels/showbiz/hollywood/surrogacy-was-easy-choice-elizabeth-888

A story about choosing surrogacy,…” surrogacy was a “very easy” decision”

·         http://www.deccanchronicle.com/channels/cities/bengaluru/surrogate-pregnancy-no-more-hush-hush-affair-856

I thought this was a great article, it is something I have personally had to deal with…”Couples struggling to have a baby have a number of options to choose from today. No one blinks an eye when they choose one or the other treatment available. But suggest surrogacy and the eyebrows go up.”

·         http://www.smh.com.au/national/concern-over-complex-laws-on-surrogacy-20120208-1reyy.html

For our Australian friends, this article is about Concern over complex laws on

 surrogacy.

·         http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/feb/08/china-surrogate-mothers-year-dragon?newsfeed=true

China's 'eight babies' scandal throws light on underground industry helping parents flout one-child rule

·         http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/05/world/asia/05iht-letter05.html?_r=1&ref=thefemalefactor

Protecting the Rights of Surrogate Mothers in India.

·         http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-16737065

Ex-News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks and her husband have become parents by a surrogate mother.

·         http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/01/22/the-vitrification-fertility-option.html

Diane Sawyer’s secret to resetting the biological clock.

Let me know what you think on these articles, I find them informative and I think I’ll keep updating on new articles that I find.

Delays...29 Jan.-4 Feb.

AAAAUUUUGGGHHH!

We have a delay already!!!

Woke up this morning, feeling groggy, grabbed a coffee, turned on the computer and checked my email and…

Received an email from Anjani, saying the donor’s menses hasn’t started yet, so there’s going to be a slight delay.

Aargh!………………………….

The egg retrieval and embryo transfer is now expected to be between 20^th and 25^th February. Now I have to start the whole countdown again.

Good news…they keep me informed.

Bad news… I have no patience!

Surrogacy Contract Details...Jan. 22-28

I have had a few people ask me about the details of my contract with Kiran Infertility Centre and what it entails. So I thought I would highlight some of details here. The contract is about ten pages long and starts with describing the incident and course of events between William, the surrogate and the clinic. It is then broken down in four sections explaining:

About my clinic...week of Jan. 16-21

I have had a few people asking me about the clinic and Hyderabad. So I thought I would write out my experience with a little more detail.

January News...week of 9-15

Just received emails from Anjani and Dr. Samit. It was really nice to hear from them, especially when they told me that our egg retrieval and embryo transfer is going to happen between the 5-10 of February.

I’m thrilled… I am finally on a countdown before... I need to start counting weeks to see if we become successful with a positive result and.... then a countdown for success of a heartbeat.

I know I am jumping the gun, but I can’t help it! I have always been like this, even when I was doing IVF. I would set myself up and just start counting to my next check.

Fingers and toes crossed!

January 4...back home

January 4… First Week Back Home. Considering William had a few extra days off before heading back to work we decided to catch up with our friends and share our trip adventure with them. It was really nice sharing our experience and it was great to hear how positive and happy they were for us. They already offered babysitting!

I also decided to catch up on the internet. I signed up to Kiran Infertility Center Facebook page. I also joined Fertile Thoughts and Fertility Friends. These two Support and forum groups are great places to meet other intended parents, find information and ask questions.

Also I decided to start this blog that you’re reading now.

Considering everything went positive on our trip to India, I came back with a thirst for more information, I did not want to lose the momentum that was created in India and I also wanted to keep my mind focused. I thought that was better than looking at a calendar every 15 minutes to see when the egg retrieval and embryo transfer is expected.

What do other intended parents do when they return home? I am sure it’s different for everyone. I would really like to know what other intended parents do and think during this time.

January 2 +3...Final Days in Hyderabad

January 2 + 3…Final Days in Hyderabad

Well it’s our last days before we head back to Switzerland.  This means last great India food, a little shopping and getting ready for our 4:15 AM drive to the airport!

Again, Anjani was kind enough to send us a car to finish our tour of Hyderabad. We first headed back to the market in the Old town and picked up a Masala Dabbas which is a spice tray, usually stainless steel with seven removable round containers, lid and a small spoon that fits in the box. I really like these handy trays. When you cook, you open the lid and all of the spices are at your fingertips without you having to rustle around hunting for jars of cumin seeds, cayenne, or cloves, etc. You don’t have to use it only for Indian spices. In fact I got two, one for India spices and one for Asian cooking. I do now wish I got a third for western cooking. It just makes it easy when you need a bunch of spices for a recipe.

We then headed off to Shilpa Ramam to shop the Arts and Crafts village for a few gifts to take back home. It is located near Hi Tech city which is such a contrast to the Old part of town. Shilpa Ramam seems very interesting and I would like to go back and view some of the cultural events that they host.

After a hot and hazy day out we decided to head back to hotel and book a table at the restaurant Kebab E Bahar, for some more black lentils!

We reflected over our week and felt completely different than the day we arrived. I can’t explain fully the transformation that happened to us. I can say we became closer and felt content that we were doing the right thing at the right place. We realized that we had just taken the first step and we were on the road to obtaining our dream of having a family. It felt good and we both went to bed with smiles on our faces that night.

Thank goodness we went to bed early, due to our car picked us up at the hotel at 4:30 A.M. and whisked us to the airport like a mad man. Considering there were hardly any cars on the road, our driver decided to drive like a formula 1 driver. We did arrive at the airport in one piece thankfully and we jumped into the crazy and frantic crowd vying to enter the main terminal.  We checked in, headed to security and went for coffee to wait for our flight to board. 

While we were boarding, we had another security check and unfortunately William lost his ticket for his carry-on bag and was escorted back to the first security check to repeat the whole process again.  He made it back and was able to board on time.  Our first leg to the UK was going to be 11 hours that felt like 30. When are we going to get there!  When we finally landed, we found out that our flight to Geneva was delayed and we also found out a handy tip to figure out how long your flight will be delayed.

Tip: A lovely lady at terminal 5, Heathrow told us if  your flight shows a 1, 7, or 9 in the minutes part of its new time this means that it is not a firm time and could change again. So for example our flight said our new departure time would now be 4:17, which the lovely lady said it meant that it was not confirmed. Sure enough she was right. We did get another posting that said our next new departure time was 5:29, sure enough that was not correct either. It was not until they posted 5:35 did we actually  board our plane back to Geneva. I do not know if this works everywhere but it seems to make sense.

Well that was my week in Hyderabad and now I am back in Switzerland. I still have a lot to say and will update you to the present soon.

January 1, 2012...Sixth Day

Happy new Year Hyderabad!

New Year’s Day in Hyderabad is just as busy and crazy as any other day. Feeling sleepy, lazy and need of a comfort day, we woke up and headed to the Hard Rock Cafe for burgers. It was a beautiful and sunny day and we decided to stroll back to the hotel and relax by the pool.

Pool side chatter....

We chatted about our choice in clinics and how I researched for at least a year before I choose Kiran Infertility Center. William wanted to know how I ended up choosing where to go. Which I think is the 64 million rupee question.

We already tried donor eggs in New York, however without success. I underwent IVF three times with no luck. Complications for me were; I just could not get my baby Padding up, no matter what drugs were given to me, what diet I tried, what acupuncture I underwent or any tips or tricks that I read about. Our doctors suggested that we could try again with me or use a surrogate.

Now as my American friends will know, using a surrogate in America is not the easiest and economical choice for surrogacy. First we would have to go to a parent friendly state, such as California. Next we would have to rob a bank. The cost was too high for us and we were being transferred to Hong Kong to boot. So I had to find an alternative way to achieve our dream of having a family.

While I was in Hong Kong I first checked where would be a good place in Asia. My research led me to Thailand.  My first thoughts were great, wonderful country, fantastic people and a short trip from Hong Kong. Now I know there have been many successful transfers and babies have been born to surrogates in Thailand, however it was not for me. My reason was that they have not been doing surrogacy for too long and I felt that the experience was not there. I understand that I could be completely wrong and I am sure there are parents in the world that did their surrogacy in Thailand with great success; it was just my gut feeling that I decided to look elsewhere.

I also dismissed Russia, Georgia, Cyprus, Ukraine and some country in Africa which I cannot remember at the moment. My reasons were a number of things, anywhere from experience of clinics, safety of the country and costs. I was also losing my mind with all the places in the world that could assist me. Where to go? What to do? It's not like you can check with a consumer magazine to see what's new and cutting edge.

Then I remembered when I was in New York that our doctor suggested India. He would not recommend a clinic in India, however he thought that the experience was there and I should look into the options. So I started researching India, which is no easy feat. There must be thousands of clinics in India and the majorities seem to be clustered in Delhi and Mumbai. Also there were clinics in Hyderabad, Chennai and other cities that I no longer remember. However I decided India is where we would try to make our dream of a family come true.

What did I do?

·         I started researching news stories in the USA, Canada, UK, and India and anywhere else I could find.

·         I started reading every blog I could on the internet that related to surrogacy.

·         I joined a few community groups related to surrogacy and trolled through the discussions.

·         I contacted medical tourism sites and inquired about their services in regards to surrogacy.

·         I started contacting clinics and asked a million questions, the ones I was interested in, I requested information about their policies, procedures, prices and contracts.

·          I contacted a law firm in the UK to engage in Indian Surrogacy Law and our legal status to do surrogacy in India.

·         I asked for referrals and talked to other parents who used various clinics in India.

Then…

I took a deep breath, choose three clinics that I felt were right for us and presented all my data for each clinic to William, my mother and a couple who went through surrogacy in California and had twins. I thought this was a good idea, due to you can get so emotionally involved and presenting my findings to other people who would look at it differently that I would give me another insight.

I don’t know if this was right or wrong and I am sure I could have done more and would really love to hear your feedback on how you made your choice.

After all that reflecting we were starving and headed to Syn, located at the Hotel Taj Deccan.  A mixture of Thai, Vietnamese and Japanese flavours.  Sushi and Thai were the choice for the night!





December 31…Fifth Day

New Year’s Eve 2012

How exciting it’s New Year ’s Eve and our last day at the clinic before we head back to Switzerland.

As usual our driver was there to pick us up and whisk William and I to the clinic for one last deposit. I could tell by William’s face that he was happy that this will be the last time he will need to perform on demand, in a cup, in a small room with GQ as reading material. …..enough said about that! Everyone was very friendly and helpful and we wished everyone a happy new year.  We said our good-byes and headed back to the hotel to get ready for New Years.

We decided to celebrate at the Hotel, which was hosting a Bollywood night to bring in the New Year. The celebrations were located on the hotel lawn and pool side, with live entertainment by international dancers, exotic cocktails and an exquisite dinner buffet, dancing and of course fireworks. The weather was perfect and we met such wonderful people that night from all over Hyderabad and India.  It was a wonderful night to celebrate the New Year and hopefully a new beginning of us becoming a family.

I always think each New Year what the year will bring. This year my thoughts went wild! Imagine this year I could actually be a mum. Considering William and I have been trying for over 6 years it was such a wonderful feeling, just to think…this could be the year!

here is the outfit I wore!