Here we go again

Here we go again! Just got word from Anjani that we have just completed another transfer! He said we should have our first test around May 2.

Anjani asked me if I wanted one or two surrogates this time around. My first thought was why not go for 10! Lets get the odds on our side. Of course I did not mention that to Anjani, I do not want to come across as crazy. We stuck with our original choice of one surrogate, so let's hope and keep fingers and toes crossed.

However....

I feel totally different this time around. I am actually not in a mood to count, think or wait. In fact I have been quiet low key for the last couple of weeks. I think there are a number of reasons why I feel this way.

1. Its been four months since we were last in India, and now it seem so far away and out of sight. I have this very disconnected feeling. I assume this is because my role in the whole matter is limited to just waiting. There is nothing physical to do or connect with I guess. I am so on the sidelines cheering for a positive outcome.
2. William took our last failed attempted very hard. He sort of keep it inside, but it did seep out in other ways. I guess considering we have been trying for over 7 years, it will get you down. I also think its different for him that it is for me. I have been lucky to have this blog and I have been able to express myself with like minded people. William however has be kinda quiet about it. He's told a few people but he really likes to keep it in the back of his thoughts. In fact, it was just last week when it all came out... all he can think about is the 7 years of tests and sampling that he has had to endure with no results. In fact he is getting wary of the whole process. He sort of rolled up the last 7 years of angst in our last failed attempt.

But I am going to put a smile on my face, and wait to see what happens!