While we wait... Let's Freak Out

Well we have a week left to find out if our surrogate will be successful and pregnant. It is the first bench mark of many and we are really nervous about everything.

So what does one do when your waiting for the news?... Well if your like us, you have a good old fashion argument. It's a real time killer and can make your emotions go all over the place. It just makes the weekend fly by.

We're all fine now, and the argument was stupid and pointless however it came from fears that are lurking in our brains. We figured out that we are:

1. Scared that we will be disappointed ...AGAIN
2. Scared that we will be successful and off to our next bench mark
3. Scared that we could become parents
4. Scared of all the responsibility that babies entail
5. Scared that it is different than having children the old fashioned way?
6. William was worried that we would be too old. (I did not agree, due to my gran had my mum when she was 45)

How's that for a mind think!

I think you can get so wrapped up on the process and if you are a little like me; your emotions are slow to follow. I have to say if it wasn’t for this blog, to help express how I feel, I would probably be bonkers by now. In fact William is getting out his notebook and is going to share as well on this blog very soon.

We decided last night that we know we are in good hands and we must let nature take its course. We also know that we are very lucky to have this choice in our lives, it is an incredible opportunity to achieve such a dream. We understand that this is not the end and we can handle the future.

I know we will be good parents; we really want this child and want to provide it the best life possible. I am also going to buy every book on Amazon about babies and make sure my mum is there on that happy day in the future, to cover all bases.

Also I think I am at the best age ever to raise a baby!

12 Real Long Days to go...

The results are in and I am happy to say we have 19 happy eggs! From there we got  14 embryos which is fantastic and amazing! Anjani gave us the low down in regards to the quality of the embryos.

We got six grade A's, four B's, three C's and a D. It reads like a report card. Not my report card however, I was more a C+- B student with the occasional A. However I think really good. William and I are both pleased and got really excited all over again.

I can't believe we are at the first hurdle, it has made my mind freeze and race all at once! All I can think is wow and here we go! knowing I will probably have the longest 12 days in history to wait to see if the embryos stuck!

I remember when William and I waited during that time when we did IVF, the wait after implantation drove us mad. In fact we use to cheat and buy "clear blue easy" sticks to see if we could beat nature and find something out sooner. We bought those pregnancy sticks in bulk and used them twice a day until we finally had to go to the clinic to find out for sure.

...Of course it all ended up as BFN's (that's Big Fat No in IVF speak)

So hear I am today waiting and hoping for the best for our surrogate and our little embryos. It feels strange being so far away and knowing this is happening. However for me, I think it's a good thing I am far away, due to I would probably just stare at my surrogate all day long if I could. I would also probably try to make her pee on a stick. It's take control freak in me, raising its crazy head.

I know I am in good hands and I just need to wait the next 12 days.  I think I am going to try and refocus and re-energize and I don't know clean out my basement for the next 12 days. Just to keep my mind on anything but the calender!

A happy surrogacy email beginning

There is nothing better than getting an email with some great news, and that was exactly what happened Saturday morning. Anjani from Kiran Infertility Centre just told us that the HCG injection was going to be given today!  I am so anxious to know how many eggs will be retrieved and the condition. What a wonderful woman who is donating her eggs to us. You just want to hug her, hold her hand and thank her all at once. William was very excited and remembered when I had my HCG injection and how nervous we were when it happened. 

We were also told that egg retrieval will be on Monday! That’s today!  He is also going to let us know the number and quality of embryos. So, if all goes well, by the end of the week we will have our embryo transferred to our surrogate.

All I have been doing for the last 48 hours is just thinking about it… Moving forward but still having a lot of hurdles to pass and knowing we should stay calm.  We also had to make the decision of how many embryos to transfer. We did have this discussion with Dr. Samit when we were in Hyderabad, and I must say he was very good at discussing all aspects and various choices we could make in regards to this decision.

William and I discussed it again this Sunday; we took a walk in the first rays of spring, at least it felt that way, considering it has been freezing here for the past two weeks.  We decided that what we discussed with Dr. Samit was still our choice today.

I will definitely keep you posted on the progress this week.

Family thoughts on Monday Morn.

Thank you all for your excellent comments. I really enjoyed the feedback and it is so nice to know that you’re not the only one out there.

I really like http://bollywoodbabydreams.blogspot.com blog by Arya and Paul. They are doing surrogacy in Mumbai and are at the 11 week mark and counting.

JVC, I can’t wait until we all get our phone calls!

Tom, you are so right, it is not a boring time waiting for that phone call, I’m very excited!

I am actually staying calm which is quite amazing for me. However William has become all anxious this weekend.  I think the reason why, was that he just visited his brother who has two children which we both don’t see often enough.

He was so pleased to see him and more importantly interact with his nephew and niece. One of the things he noticed was how much of life the children bring to you.  He was really impressed with the way they engage with you and how it riches your life. I think he saw his brother’s life as this real nice family unit with this wonderful connection that is unique when enriched with children. I think it’s something in a strange way he never really thought of before. “The idea of family and what it means.”

It’s a nice reinforcement of why we are all doing Surrogacy.  Let’s face it; it’s not easy emotionally or financially. But boy is it worth it.

Tick Tock…Starting the Surrogacy time watch

So here I go with the “surrogacy time watch…step one”. Anjani just emailed me to let me know that our donor has started stimulation today and will let me know as soon as the egg retrieval is going to happen. I can’t wait!

 Anyone who has ever gone through IVF, knows what is happening now to their donor. Days full  of injections with stimulating drugs, blood tests, ultrasound scans, and then the “trigger shot”. I am wishing her well and hope she feels okay through the process.

Side note:

Also Surrogacy hits TV… check out Modern Family next episode

Surrogacy in the News

Monday morning…thought I would tool around the internet and see what the paper’s had to say about surrogacy these days.. I thought these were interesting:

·         http://www.deccanchronicle.com/channels/showbiz/hollywood/surrogacy-was-easy-choice-elizabeth-888

A story about choosing surrogacy,…” surrogacy was a “very easy” decision”

·         http://www.deccanchronicle.com/channels/cities/bengaluru/surrogate-pregnancy-no-more-hush-hush-affair-856

I thought this was a great article, it is something I have personally had to deal with…”Couples struggling to have a baby have a number of options to choose from today. No one blinks an eye when they choose one or the other treatment available. But suggest surrogacy and the eyebrows go up.”

·         http://www.smh.com.au/national/concern-over-complex-laws-on-surrogacy-20120208-1reyy.html

For our Australian friends, this article is about Concern over complex laws on

 surrogacy.

·         http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/feb/08/china-surrogate-mothers-year-dragon?newsfeed=true

China's 'eight babies' scandal throws light on underground industry helping parents flout one-child rule

·         http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/05/world/asia/05iht-letter05.html?_r=1&ref=thefemalefactor

Protecting the Rights of Surrogate Mothers in India.

·         http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-16737065

Ex-News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks and her husband have become parents by a surrogate mother.

·         http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/01/22/the-vitrification-fertility-option.html

Diane Sawyer’s secret to resetting the biological clock.

Let me know what you think on these articles, I find them informative and I think I’ll keep updating on new articles that I find.

Delays...29 Jan.-4 Feb.

AAAAUUUUGGGHHH!

We have a delay already!!!

Woke up this morning, feeling groggy, grabbed a coffee, turned on the computer and checked my email and…

Received an email from Anjani, saying the donor’s menses hasn’t started yet, so there’s going to be a slight delay.

Aargh!………………………….

The egg retrieval and embryo transfer is now expected to be between 20^th and 25^th February. Now I have to start the whole countdown again.

Good news…they keep me informed.

Bad news… I have no patience!